Typecast

Killer in Grander Designs, completed last week. Head Bodyguard in O Sole Mio, wrapped yesterday. Thug and body bag man in The King is Dead, filming tomorrow. Bomber or White-Suited Assassin in Kill Mode, for which I am auditioning on Thursday. Gangleader in Got-Got, for which I am auditioning on Friday. Psychopath in unnamed film for which I have a provisional booking on Monday.

Simple minds will have worked out that there is a pattern emerging here. (Actually, there are two patterns, since none of these projects is paid.) I should be pleased by the attention. Everyone keeps telling me I have a memorable face, which is why I keep getting these castings. It's not a face I'm particularly fond of  - I prefer the one I had decades ago when I was Not Badlooking (that's me on the shores of Lake Titicaca in 1980)  - but it's the face that I'm stuck with and if it gets me work, then I should be pleased. It's just that I would like to be the Good Guy for once, as I was in The Lower Depths three months ago. Three months? It feels like a year.

But I have to keep going at these parts until I get enough credits to impress someone - a director, a producer, a fanbase - that I am worthy of greater roles. And then, when Martin Foreman is a Name To Be Reckoned With - the roles will come - pardon the pun - rolling in. In the meantime, if you want an ageing criminal / tough guy / executioner who'll work for expenses and the biscuits and crisps and pizzas and other junk food that delivers future heart attacks and diabetes, I'm your man.

As for paid work, well, I'm relying on my agent for that, but, in that well-known phrase, I'm waiting for him to return my call....